How much does your home REALLY impact your life?
I mean really. We’ve all heard about color impacting your mood, how feng shui can move stagnant energy from your home and how indoor plants can purify your air, but how much can it REALLY do?
Can it change who you ARE? Or how happy you are?
How connected you are to your kids and partner? Can it help your kids become self directed fully realized adults?
Let’s take a step back in time, to when you were a kid, say an 8 year old kid. You have your own room and it’s full of your own stuff. But how much of it is really yours?
Did you pick out the furniture or did your parents? Did you pick out the paint color? Were you one of those super rare kids that got to choose your own rug and accessories, like mirrors, push pins and frames for your artwork?
I’m not sure why, but when you do a search for unique kids rooms, there are some pretty generic and very CLEAN kids rooms that come up. Most of them look horribly stale. My room was a complete MESS when I was young, and my kids continue the tradition.
So your eight year old self is sitting in your fully designed-to-reflect-you space. One that you had 100% say in how would you FEEL? (Beyond totally excited and ready to tell all your friends)
I don’t know about you, but I would feel validated, heard and understood. Your own wacky weird eight year old taste wouldn’t only be actualized, it would be invested in.
What if each time you reinvented yourself (at 10, 16, and 18) your parents not only invested in your new image but celebrated it with you? How exciting would that be? Would you feel loved? Understood? Where would your self confidence fall? I’m betting somewhere in the “upper” range.
What if it went beyond that? What if you had a say in how the living room was designed? What if you had a say in where things were laid out in the kitchen? Bathroom?
You can see what I’m getting out here
As the years go by and you move from your parents house, to your dorm room (where most of us get to flex our self expression muscle for the first time) to your first apartment and finally into your first home, I would expect that you could (and probably would) easily reflect your story.
You would feel comfortable creating your unique space because you HAVE been for so long. Things would develop naturally and you would feel connected to your space. And when you are connected to your space, you feel more grounded, more connected to yourself and life, which means you would be less likely to be in abusive or unsupported relationships. You wouldn’t stay in unfulfilled situations, because you KNOW what it feels like to BE connected and fulfilled.
As strange as it seems, home does all of those thing for us. And the things that we put in our homes have the potential to help us or hurt us.
So what’s the moral of this story? Give the little people in your life and home a creative voice in their own space. They are, after all, bursting with creativity and life. Giving them their own space to reflect that creativity seems like a natural first step on a path of creativity, self acceptance and self actualization.
I’d love to hear about your own experience growing up. Were you one of the lucky ones? Did you get full reign? Partial? or none of the above? How did you feel it affected you?